As you’re
probably aware, Ontario is currently in the middle of a Provincial election. It
is the first time in almost 10 years that I have been involved in a campaign
only marginally. I am volunteering
for my local candidate, Jonah Schein (pending Ellie cooperation) at least once
a week, but am not completely steeped in the campaign every waking moment, not
by a long shot.
That's one fine lookin' lawn sign.
With this,
comes an almost crushing sense of guilt, which is irrational, I know, but
cannot be helped. In a lot of ways, political activists seem to have an
unspoken competition with one another during election campaigns – who can sleep
less, eat less, basically drive themselves towards an early grave faster. It
was honestly kind of fun in some ways. Definitely exhilarating.
The
environment I worked in undoubtedly has had an impact on my health in the long
term. One of the reasons that I began practicing yoga is for the stress
reduction aspect – I spent my 30th birthday in the ER after
experiencing severe chest pains that turned out to be an anxiety attack. I had
numb patches in my legs that were so bad that I was tested for MS – it turned
out to be nothing more than nerve compression related to muscle tension. It was
crazy. It also forced me to take a good long look at how I treated myself, and
led to me being much more conscious of how I treated my body and what kind of
pressure I put myself under.
While this
health crisis did make me change the way I approached my work, it remained a
very busy and draining way to make a living - especially during campaigns.
Campaigns meant 60-70 hour weeks (at least) and the highest highs mixed with
the lowest lows. That’s just the way it was. Observing a campaign now as a citizen (albeit highly
engaged) instead of staffer is a really strange sensation. It’s very, very
quiet.
At the end
of the day, I am going to make an effort to let go of guilt and to absorb the
experience as a citizen rather than as a staffer – do only what I’m able to and
no more, and to allow my life and it’s needs to remain a priority for the first
time in a loooong time.
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